i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
