Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
