my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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