Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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