I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i need some magic done to my vagina
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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