i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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