it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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