so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
