There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
