When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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