Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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