Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
