I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
