just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
