What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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