With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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