Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
