This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
