I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
