yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
