I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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