Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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