(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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