he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
