Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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