I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
