He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
