I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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