She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
