You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
