I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
im on a boat
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