Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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