So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
someone owes me an orgasm
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
