thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
