you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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