I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
