I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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