My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
