ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize