Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
