What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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