There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
