can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
