i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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