you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
