It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
