So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
