I'm going to jail i love you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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