Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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