I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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