that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I checked into jail on foursquare
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
