The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Your cock deserves a montage
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
