Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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