Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
