wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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