I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
